When we first came to Narcotics Anonymous, many of us had no legitimate occupation. Not all of us suddenly decide we're going to become honest and productive model citizens the moment we arrive in NA. But we soon find, in recovery, that we are not so comfortable doing many of the things we once did without a second thought when we were using.
As we grow in our recovery, we begin to be honest in matters that probably hadn't bothered us when we used. We start returning extra change a cashier may have given us by mistake, or admitting when we hit a parked car. We find that if we can begin to be honest in these small ways the bigger tests of our honesty become much easier to handle.
Many of us came here with very little capacity to be honest. But we find that as we work the Twelve Steps, our lives begin to change. We are no longer comfortable when we benefit at the expense of others. And we can feel good about our newfound honesty.
Addicts have a knack for complicating things. Finding a spirituality that works for us is no exception. Spirituality is central to Narcotics Anonymous, and what that looks like is up to each of us. We engage in a personal journey of discovery. The Steps help us define and develop spiritual connections, and we free ourselves to live according to our convictions.
Many of us were relieved that "figuring out the whole Higher Power thing could be a lifelong project," as one addict put it. "I was able to hear the message and receive the gift of recovery without subscribing to any specific set of beliefs. What a relief!"
Some of us have to try out many belief systems, conventional and otherwise. We may find a good fit, or maybe we eliminate a few potential paths. A buffet approach--a little of this and a little of that--suits many of us.
"I realized that my effort to define my spirituality was boxing me in, limiting how my Higher Power operated," one member shared. "When I stopped imposing limitations, I started to see my HP everywhere. It is everyone and everything--it just is."
The bond we share with other recovering addicts is both simple and sacred. The Steps help us understand ourselves, and that makes it easier to connect with others. "Caring about my fellow members helps me," one member shared. "I notice when the light comes back into a newcomer's eyes, and it is one of the most beautiful gifts of recovery for me." Many of us approach spirituality as a practical matter. We know that when we show up at a meeting, we feel less alone. When we are of service, we think less of ourselves. When we share a hug with another member, we feel loved. These simple, spiritual actions are at the heart of our program of recovery.
