First I have to admit I feared this step. These character defects had become a way of life and I had thought that they defined who I was. Not to mention gave me every excuse to use people, places, and things to get what I felt I deserved. I was a great victim oriented person and knew how to victimize others. Thinking it was their fault for my actions. This is how, as the literature says, “most of all we harmed ourselves.” To live with the guilt and shame of our actions do to this warp way of thinking.