My story isn’t over yet, I choose to live.

My story isn’t over yet, I choose to live.
By: Rachel W.
High On Life

My name is Rachel and I'm an addict. I was born in Memphis and raised in a town called Frayser. I had a good childhood and I was a daddy's girl. The only thing that bothered me when I was young was my dad would leave sometimes but he always came back. He started using drugs when I was young but it didn't bother me. My dad was the best in my eyes and still is today. He and my mom are still together and I love my parents. I started using drugs at a very young age and I loved it. I always knew from day one that I was an addict and I always thought I would do drugs for the rest of my life. I couldn't stop if I wanted to. I was very wild and crazy and everybody knew who I was, knew what I did, and that was party all the time. I was drinking and using all day everyday. I started using this one drug that my dad used at the age of 18 after saying I would never do that drug. I never stopped after the first time I used it. I used a lot of other drugs with that drug to even it out. I used until I passed out from being up for days at a time and always had drugs when I woke up. I hardly ever ran out and when I did it was not pretty. I was on a mission. My parents were very wealthy so I always had a lot of money. My mom and I started fighting a lot over my addiction. I was very selfish and didn't care about anything but my drugs. I wrecked two paid for cars by falling asleep while driving from staying up for so long. God has been with me through it all cause I should've died and I'm grateful that I didn't kill anyone else. I don't regret my past because it has made me the women I am today. I went to rehab a few times but never for the right reasons. My mom moved me out to Mississippi to live with my aunt and then eventually got me a three bedroom house all to myself. I met my husband Blake and we had a beautiful son together. I did not use drugs while I was pregnant. I did everything right. My blood pressure got up to stroke level and my liver started failing so I had my son at 27 weeks. The only thing that was wrong with him was his lungs weren't totally developed and he lived to be almost 11 months old. He never came home from the hospital and he got pneumonia and died in my arms. That broke me and my husband and we went off the deep end. We didn't want to live anymore. Finally my husband got in some trouble that landed him in prison and he is currently still there and will be there for a few more years. My God answered my prayers and I got in trouble and it landed me in drug court. Drug Court and Narcotics Anonymous have saved my life. I have 14 months clean today and I'm much better. I have a great job that pays good money. I live on my own and pay all my own bills. I have gained many friends in the program and the steps have helped me become a better me. I'm so grateful for Narcotics Anonymous because it has shown me a new way of life. My story isn't over yet. I just take it one day at a time and it brings me so much joy to know that I'm not alone and that I never have to use drugs again.

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